'Psychology' sign found in the back of the shop. It's appropriate, considering the...er...psychological approach (?) of a few customers this last week.
We had a sale in January, 50% off all hardbacks. The signs that were all over the place, including three large ones in the window, were taken down on Feb 1st. This week a man approaches the counter with an armful of hardbacks. I tell him the total. He says 'Oh, isn't the sale on anymore?' I bite my tongue and say 'No, that ended last month' (as it also said on the frigging signs!). He's not happy, turns away and puts the books back. A minute later he returns, saying 'Those would have come to fifty-one pounds in the sale. I'm offering you fifty-one pounds.' My gun hand moves towards the holster but I refrain from blowing a hole in his head and say 'Sorry, I can't do that.' He trundles off, leaving a cloud of disgust in his wake.
Four days ago a man, another 'man of a certain age', the same age as the one above, both of whom I'm tempted to call Awkward Old Gits, spends some time choosing from the very old book section. He also puts a large book on Indian folklore on his pile on the desk. Having done so, he ums and ahs about it, asking (cheekily, he admits) if I'd look up the price online. I do so, finding the cheapest to be around £150 whilst ours is £80. Finally he's ready. The total comes to £124. I don't charge him for one paperback (value £4), then quickly calculate the others and discount him a tenner. He seems satisfied with that. But then, as he packs the books in his bag, he starts moaning, half to himself but loud enough for me to hear. Moaning about the total!
I draw the pistol, but lay it on the table and get up, walking around the desk to go and tidy the shelves. It was the best thing to do. I still can't get the blood out of the carpet from the last time I filled a customer with lead. I hadn't escaped his ire, though, because he insisted, whilst walking towards the door, on moaning again, saying 'I must be more careful next time' as if I'd cheated him! I simply replied that he had got a good deal on the Indian book and gave him my 'Now FUCK OFF' face.
On Friday another AOG puts four paperbacks on the counter. They average £4 each. 'Can you do me a deal on those?' He asks. My trigger finger twitches. 'No, sorry.' At least he paid the full price without saying another word and 'the look', intended to kill, bounced off of my invisible Protection From Customers shield, which took a good few months to build but is now in full working order.
Customers often say how precious the bookshop is to the area. Yes, it is, not only to the area but London. They are not the ones who try it on, of course. The ones who do might be the first to praise independent secondhand bookshops, whilst doing their best to undermine our existence by wanting price reductions! It's almost as if they can't calculate a simple economic truth; namely that we run on very small profit margins, unlike online sellers. Every penny does count. That said, I'm happy to give reductions when I think they're warranted.
I'm in the shop tomorrow (Sunday). Should you be in London and wish to visit, do come up and say 'Hello'. Just be careful when asking for a 'deal'. I may not show such restraint next time!
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