Charity shops are mad person magnets, right? That's not why I like them. I am not mad. Honest. But...
...the girl in Mind on Kentish Town High Street looked at me as if I was mad, not just a sane person commenting on the fact that I was playing Joy Division only yesterday and it was a funny coincidence that She's Lost Control was on when I went into the shop....
...nothing. Not even a smile. Instead, a look that said "Are you another mad person?" in the subtlest of signalling via her pierced physiognomy because: a) she's used to mad people b) she cannot display outright disapproval verbally and most importantly c) it is a mental health charity....
...not that I've noticed a higher quota of mad folk in there than any other charity shop. The reason being, I suppose, that they aren't about to pay money into a charity from which they benefit...or are they?
Besides, I don't like the term 'mad' even though I sometimes aim it at those who through no fault of their own (other than people damaged from alcohol/drug abuse...some of whom happen to be my friends) have mental health issues. Hold on, if that's the right definition we should all be recipients of charitable help from Mind, probably.
Daily life provokes mental health issues. Yes, when you get that bill you can't afford or watch someone jump that queue you're in or sit in the office thinking you really could have had an interesting career as a writer/artist/filmmaker if you'd tried harder or the times you look at your partner and wonder who the hell they really are and why you sometimes want to kill them when you might be better off catching fish on a remote Scottish island or thumbing your way around the world...you know, having adventures...instead of being a domesticated, routine-bound worker ant in the capitalist colony...
...worry or think about your life too much and you will go mad...or make radical changes and do something interesting but the odds are long on that one. If I didn't make art it's possible that I'd go mad. People who say that kind of thing risk mockery from non-artists because they don't see why what the artist does is so special..."I mean, it ain't Picasso, is it?" No, it ain't. It's more important because it's what an 'unknown' individual is creating and getting little applause for and certainly not much (if any) money, never mind fame.
It's probably 'mad' to carry on but since I make art for myself and hopefully a few appreciative viewers it feels worthwhile. For now. Meanwhile, back to where I started, it would be mad not to recognise the greatness of Joy Division, wouldn't it?
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