How duplicitous of me! I'm sorry, but I'm desperate for visitors. You know, the amount attracted by headlines like '10 Ways To Increase Blog Traffic', '10 Ways To Become Rich Quick' and '10 Ways To Be A Secret Trump Supporter' - that sort of thing. If I'm honest, I could write a genuine '10 Ways To Remain An Obscure Artist' post. In that, I am an expert.
Apart from you, I do have one regular visitor. They frequently post comments about a service they offer but since I don't allow advertising I never publish them. Their thumbnail image shows a scantily-clad woman with what is, I must say, a very neatly trimmed beard. I'm sure 'her' service is a useful one. I feel a bit guilty since 'she' is so persistent...and beggars can't be choosers, but I have my limits.
I now feel inspired to provide an essential list which, I'm sure, will attract many visitors...
10 Ways To Remain An Obscure Artist
1. Be eclectic. By varying your styles and media people will not know how to categorise you and may suspect you of being schizophrenic.
2. Instead of painting, type Concrete Poetry. No-one understands it. And it's not Art.
3. Write about Concrete Poetry, Vispo, Typewriter Art.
4. Don't give useful tips. You don't have any anyway.
5. Don't obsessively post on Instagram. This, with the correct tags, can attract more followers.
6. Don't post much on Twitter either, not that Art gets much attention in the shadow of all-out warfare between SJWs and everyone else.
7. Never use the word 'practice' when discussing (if you have to) your work.
8. If you went to Art college, pretend you didn't. Erase any sign of authority from your bio.
9. Avoid spreading your 'love' all over social media by 'liking' and gushing over every artist you happen to know even when you don't really like the piece they just posted. Such displays garner you 'likes' in return and could result in edging closer to recognition if, by chance, one such artist is connected to an influential curator. In other words, respond honestly, which means not responding.
10. Say you're a Trump supporter. A risky strategy because you may attract abuse, but you certainly won't be invited to exhibit...or dinner. You'll probably lose most art-friends too.
That's that! You're welcome.
there must be fifty ways to leave your lover
ReplyDeleteNo need to be coy, Roy (I know it's you)
DeleteSomething somewhere in the Bard about destiny shaping our ends rough hew them though we may - or as we may - more seriously - we do it the way we do it - if we be lucky someone with influence will take up our cause - if we're not - alas and alack. Having conservative political leanings is definitely a negative for 'playing the game'.
ReplyDeleteThe Bard knew what he was talking about, didn't he? I'm a lost cause. Perhaps this quote from Him is apt: 'We know what we are, but know not what we may be.' You're not even supposed to be a player if you're not on the Left!
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