Collage/print: Shell Head / The Lost Hour / Gravy Granules vs Schoenberg

RTomens, 2022

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Having recently bought Eighty-Minute Hour by Brian Aldiss time started to go wrong, as if life was imitating art. 

It couldn't be 10.48! I was on the bus, heading for East Finchley to open the shop. Well, I thought, even smart tech can break down. Time was fine when I left The Cave. Stupid technology! 

Re-entering The Cave that evening the first thing LJ said was "You're home early!" Was I? Christ! She was right! The kitchen clock said 5.45. Check the other clocks, yes, they all said the same. How the hell did I get that wrong? I use the computer clock in the shop. Surely that wasn't wrong. 

I go on Facebook. Someone mentions the clocks going forward an hour, as they do come British Summer Time. Doh! Time had moved on with us sleeping, oblivious. I'd never missed the clock- changing thing in all my years. Fool! I felt a bit guilty about opening the shop an hour late but what the hell, few people would be out and about at 10 on a Sunday morning anyway, I told myself. No wonder the day seemed to go quickly.

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Bisto Gravy Granules are worth more than a recording of Schoenberg's pieces for orchestra and chamber music - it's official. This morning I paid £2.20 for the granules and £2 for the album (vinyl). Crazy world!

Mind you, most people would think that a jar of gravy granules are worth more than a load of tuneless compositions. The cost of living is rocketing but the cost of listening to Schoenberg on vinyl is not! Not if you're lucky enough to find him in the right charity shop, that is.

Modernist classical music is scarce in charity shops. I'm sure you've noticed. Oh there's loads of Bach or Beethoven - ten-a-penny! Yes, I know, most great music on vinyl is scarce in charity shops - as bargains, I mean, because charity workers have long since got wise to the high prices they can slap on vinyl. Objectively, this is a good thing. More money towards the cause. Subjectively, it sucks because I want a bargain!

As a foodstuff analogy, is Schoenberg Marmite? Commonly, I'd say yes, but to my ears, he's actually loved and loathed. He drives me mad yet fascinates me. I love the meandering nature of his compositions and loathe it. So, we can contain contradictory feelings, eh? However I feel, though, I still can't resist a recording of his work, on vinyl, for less than a jar of gravy granules. 

Next time: a jar of clear honey vs Stockhausen.